Traditions

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are all doing well. As this holiday season is approaching quickly, I am filled with sadness, hopefulness, and fond memories. Sad because Wo will never be here physically with us to enjoy the time of the year she loved so much. I know she will be with us in spirit though. It's funny that my kids and Mark are so into traditions. I love them too, but I am always suggesting that we might change some of these and I am ALWAYS answered back with a loud NO!! I thought it would be fun to let you know the traditions we have every year and how I have tried to change some of them.

The live Christmas Tree... I am the only one in the family that would like an artificial tree. Reason being, I can put it up early and enjoy it longer. It also would not drop needles. We did find a remedy for the needle dropping in the past few years. Frasier firs. These trees have nice, soft needles, but they come at a hefty price. So this year we will probably have to go back to the dreaded scotch pine. Prickly needles that drop and lots of sap that doesn't come off your skin or clothes! We all get bundled up and trapse through an endless field searching for the perfect tree. After many years of Mark cutting it down, the saw has been passed down to Ryan and he does a fine job. After it has been cut, Mark or Ryan drags ito the shaking machine that shakes out all the loose needles and varmints that might be living on the tree. Then we have it bundled and Mark ties it to the roof of the car. So tight that an F-4 tornado would not budge it. So tight that one year Mark forgot the tree was on top of our full size van we had at the time and pulled in the garage. It tore half the luggage rack off the roof of the van, but the tree was secure and unscathed!! Haha. Every year I remind him that the tree is on the roof of the vehicle. We usually go out to eat after our difficult trapsing in the wildnerness or get popcorn and hot chocolate or hot cider at the tree farm. Let me tell you, we are the farthest thing from fashionable in our snow pants, hats and boots!! We have learned a few things after 30 years of this tradition. Don't take dogs with you. It looks so cute when people bring their dogs and let them romp in the snow. Of course, the first time I took my little, chihuahua, Peanut, he found some kind of wild animal poop to roll in when I wasn't looking and we had to deal with him stinking to high heaven on the car ride home. The second thing we have learned is that trees appear way smaller in the field than in the living room. There has been many a time when the tree took up half the room and you almost had to turn sideways to go past it! I try to stress to look for a "skinny tree" every year but sometimes "fat" prevails. I don't know why, but I usually end up putting the lights, garland, and ornaments on the tree by myself ( Wo did help sometimes and so did Sis, but she hasn't lived at home since 2001) because as Mark says "You're so good at it". And I get to take it down too!! But, you know what, I wouldn't trade any of this for the world. We all had the best time picking out our trees over the years and I know Wo would be so sad if we ever went to a fake tree. So, I guess they win this one. A real tree every year.

This is us a few years ago. Notice our lovely ensembles.

 

One of my absolute, favorite pics. They look so happy.

 

The last year Wo would help us find our tree in person. She will always be with us in our hearts and in spirit.

I can see where this would end up being a book instead of a blog post, so I will talk about some of our other traditions in later posts. This will give me something to think about.

Marks starts his new job tomorrow! He works so hard and is great at what he does. This whole business of losing his last job has really hurt him because he put his heart and soul into it. I have seen him in action at work and he is such a bundle of energy. I had an interview yesterday and things look promising for me. It is only part time though and I am looking for full time. Hey, it's better than nothing. It was nice having Mark home with me. Oh, to win the lottery! He has turned into a work out machine!! Running on the treadmill most days and lifting weights. I wish I had his energy.

I put a video on  Facebook already, but Mark and I got some decorations for Wo's grave this week. A pretty, sparkly wreath because Wo loved bling and a cute Santa. We also put two candy cane solar lights there. When we drive into the entrance at the cemetery, we can see her lights way at the back. I don't know why, but seeing those lights in the dark makes me cry every time. I got an e-mail from the place that is doing Lauren's stone and it said it should hopefully be done by Thanksgiving. We can't wait to see it.

This was taken in the dark with my phone. I'm not sure what the lines in the picture are. It looks really pretty in the dark.

I would like to tell you that one of my best friends named Dawn has a great grandson that has just been diagnosed with Neuroblastoma which is a form of cancer. I am just so upset that this little guy has to go through chemo and radiation. They have started a Facebook page and I wanted to give you the link in case you would like to follow Billy's journey. It is called Raise Hope For Little Bill. I have met him and he is such an adorable little boy. Prayers to you, Billy, Dawn, and family.

Ok, time to dig through my pics for a nice one of Wo. Take care, everyone!! I love you all. Until next time...

Love,
-Pam

Sweet, little Wo always loved the water.

Puppies and Pain In My Heart

Hi Everyone,

I'm still down in the dumper, but hopeful I will feel better soon. Mark and I have both had some weird virus or flu the last few weeks. Sore throat, fever, cough, stuffy nose, body aches. I didn't think we could get the flu because we had flu shots this year, so who knows. We are both feeling better, but we were sick for a long time. I still have a bad cough, but I am getting better.

Mark got a job and we are very grateful for that. He had a drug test Friday and they are waiting for those results and then he can start!! Hopefully, it will be this week. I am still looking. I have applied about ten or more places and no calls yet. I am a great worker and very dependable. I sure hope I can find something soon.

My Mom and Dad came down and took us to lunch yesterday at Grinders. We had a nice time visiting with them. Last evening, they went to Wadsworth's football playoff game with some of their friends and stayed overnight with them.

Sis and Bruce got home last weekend after a week in California where they went to wine country and San Francisco with friends and visited Bruce's family near Sacramento. They had a great time.

My little pups, Peanut and Penny, both had birthdays this week. Peanut was six on Monday and Penny was three yesterday. I don't know what I would do without these little munchkins. They are so sweet and just love to sleep on my lap.

Peanut when we went to go pick him out at the breeder's house. He is only four weeks old in this picture. We had to wait until he was six weeks old before we could take him home. He only weighed a little over one pound when we brought him home.




Little Penny when we first got her from the same breeder we got Peanut from. 

We went to K Mart today and got some cute solar lights that look like little candy canes and put them at Wo's gravesite. She had a tall light that has been there ever since she was buried. Now she has three!! We have been going to the cemetery every day, but now since the time has changed, we get there and it is already dark. We can see her little light shining when we pull into the cemetery and she is buried way in the back. It really pulls at my heart to see that little light shining. I am really bracing for the coming holiday season. I know I will be a real wreck throughout. The pain of missing my child is the worst pain I could ever imagine. She was such a character and loved the holidays so much. I just think of how lonely it will be to bake cookies without her. I wonder how Giovanni is doing. He is probably as sad as we are. I hope we get to see him over the holidays. I really miss him too.

Other than that, we haven't been doing much. I stay up late because my mind races and I sleep in late so I don't have to think about things. Thank goodness for Candy Crush!! That game is so frustrating, but also so invigorating when you win!! Haha. I really want to get out of this rut and enjoy life again. Sometimes I feel guilty for laughing or having fun when I think of all the pain poor Wo had to go through. There really is nothing that will help but time. People always say that the pain never goes away, but you just get used to it. I am very grateful to have an understanding husband, a daughter that makes me laugh and always has words of wisdom, and a son that is so sensitive and will sit with his arm around me and comfort me when I am sad. I am very lucky to have all of them. Please make sure to tell your family that you love them every chance you get.

I will leave you with a pic of our sweet Wo. I will have to take a look through the archives and come up with one that stands out. Thanks for continuing to support us. I do read all of your comments. They are all very sweet. Thank you. Until next time...

Love,
-Pam

Our cute little Wo in the backyard at my Mom and Dad's house when they lived in Wadsworth.