Not really much going on right now. I have been working a lot and Mark always works a lot. The weather has been crazy here as usual. One day almost 70 and the next day a snowstorm. We can't wait until spring. Mostly so we can plant flowers at Lauren's grave and I also want to make a memorial garden in our yard. I have a vision of a heart shaped garden framed with rocks, flowers, and an angel statue. Ryan said he would help us make it! I just ordered 10 grave candles. I bought a lantern a few months ago and we put it at Lauren's grave so it would always be lit and we have gone through every candle we had in our house!! I tried making my own candles with Crisco and it didn't work very well. Hopefully, these will arrive soon.
I'm not sure what happened to me, but I feel like a new person. I have willed myself to get better and so far I'm doing ok. No more daily sobbing and feeling so sad. I have been warned by others that this might only be temporary, but I am going to try my best to be happy and remember the good times with Wo. I still have a hard time at night when I first try to go to sleep. I usually get visions in my head of Wo in the hospital and the most unimagineable things she had to endure. I hope one day I won't have those pictures in my head.
I have tried to become a little more adventurous and wear some of Wo's crazy earrings. Most of them are just over the top and I look like a crazy lady in them, but I have worn a few of the tamer pairs. You don't believe they are that wild? Let me go get a few pairs and show you what I mean. Ok, I'm back. I put on some makeup and one of Wo's crazy lipsticks. Here we go:
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| The sophisticate. Hello daaahhhhling! |
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| The dinner plates. |
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| The party girl pink fringe. |
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| The biggest hoops in the world!! |
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| And last but not least, the bunch of grapes!! |
I really cannot believe I just did this because I really hate seeing myself in pictures. But it was all in good fun to show you the wacky, yet unique style Wo had. She was one of a kind and I miss her so much.
Mark and I are going to visit my mom and dad this Saturday. Sis and Bruce are also coming since my mom and dad were watching their dog, Buzz, while they were on vacation and they need to pick him up. It will be nice to see all of them since it has been a while. That is about it for now. I will go look through the pics and find a nice one of Wo. Like I say probably 100 times a day to her, "I love you Wo and I will never forget you."
Thank you all for your support.
Love,
-Pam
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| High school graduation with Grandma Tommie and Papa Ron. |
Pam- I am glad to hear you're doing better. I check your blog all the time. I love that you still post things and keep Lauren's memory alive. I also love the fun pics you posted wearing some of her earrings! She sure did have some crazy/cool ones!! It's kind of funny that you posted this today cause just last night I dug out a tote of pictures I have and was looking at them cause I was missing Lauren so much and just wanted to see her. I was looking through all our pictures from senior prom and graduation. I came across this picture where we're in my kitchen, and she's wearing these bright pink earrings that I had given her that were my mom's back in the day. So I was thinking about that and her love of jewelry and being fancy. <3 -Ashley
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ashley. It is difficult, but she is in a better place. She did have lots of fun with you and I'm sure it is hard for you to deal with her being gone.
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