Monday, August 12, 2013

About Time For A New Post

Hi Everyone,

Sorry it has been so long since I last wrote anything, but I never had time to sit down and write until today. A lot has happened since then. I hope I can remember everything. I can't even remember what I had for dinner yesterday let alone remember everything that went on the last few weeks!! Many of you that have Facebook have already seen and heard about what I am writing, but this is for those of you that don't have Facebook. Ok, here goes.

I got a tattoo!! Ever since Lauren passed away I have wanted something permanent to remember her by. So what could be more permanent than a tattoo!! I used to tease Mark when I was younger that I wanted a tattoo and he would get so mad at me. I guess we grew up in the day where the only people that had tattoos were guys in the service and motorcycle gangs. He did not think a tattoo was very ladylike and I agreed. I now know I was being judgmental and that people get tattoos for many reasons including remembering someone that is gone. Mark didn't have a problem with me getting it now and he might even get one. I love mine and what it represents. The tattoo parlor that I visited was everything I imagined and then some. Lots of skulls, a huge guy with long hair and a bandana around his head covered with tattoos, incense burning, and '70's music blasting. I felt like I was in an episode of Sons of Anarchy!! But, I have to tell you, Big Jeff, as my tattoo artist is known, was one of the sweetest men ever. His wife, Tammy, and his other artist, Marvin, were equally as nice and so sympathetic to our loss. I had found a tattoo online that I really liked and wanted to add Lauren's name to it. Big Jeff came up with the perfect design and I was so excited. I wasn't really scared because I knew I could handle how much it hurt because Lauren had handled so much more. And hurt it did, like having my arm cut with razor blades. I had to wince a few times and dig my hand into my leg, but I did it!!! Here is my beautiful tattoo.

My Dad had surgery on Aug. 2nd to repair his mitral valve in his heart. It was leaking very badly and probably was born that way, but his heart was enlarged and it was getting worse. The surgery went great and he was in the cardiac ICU where they woke him up, extubated him, and everything was great. He did have 2 drains in his chest, a big incision, ivs, and monitors. My Mom and I were there as well as my sister, Linda, and her husband, Wayne. Bruce and Kristen also came by after work. Linda and Wayne left for home that evening and my Mom and I stayed at Sis and Bruce's house. Bruce got a page early the next morning that my Dad was in trouble. He woke me and my Mom up and all I could think was "Please God, you already took Lauren. Don't take my Dad." I guess he was fine all night and then all of a sudden, he couldn't breathe. He thinks he passed out because he could not take one bit of air in and he was so scared. Both of his lungs had collapsed and emergency measures were taken to help him. He had to have two chest tubes put in to take the air out of his chest so the lungs could inflate. He also had to be intubated again. When we got there, he was sedated. It reminded me so much of Lauren all over again. But when the sedation started wearing off, he could hear us and shake his head and move his hands. How awful it is to be awake and have a breathing tube down your throat. That is one of my nightmares. He finally was able to breathe on his own and the tube was taken out. He was good as new in a few hours!! He is incredible. He stayed in the ICU until Tues. and was moved to the regular floor, where he went home on Thurs. and is doing great. Nothing like scaring us all to death and nobody knows why his lungs collapsed. Here are some pics.


Before surgery with Bruce, Lisa, Joel, and my Mom. Lisa is a good friend of Kristen's and is a cardiac fellow. Joel finished his cardiac fellowship and will be working with Kristen at St. Joe's.

Dad and his girls.

They gave my Dad a U of M coughing pillow and being the Buckeye that he is, he thought it was funny to do the O-H-I O. They didnt't find it too amusing up in Wolverine country, but we did.


Resting at Sis and Bruce's before going home.

I got home Friday afternoon and was so excited to see my doggies. I made Mark a home cooked meal since he didn't cook for himself the whole week I was gone. What would he do without me? We went to visit Wo at the cemetery and have every day since I have been back. I was pretty good up at the hospital. Only one meltdown. I think I was too busy worrying up there and didn't have a lot of time to think. Since being home, I am sad more, but better than I was. It is going to take a very long time. Her are a few pics of Lauren's grave and of course one of beautiful Wo. We have it decorated until her stone is finished. It is so peaceful there. That is about all for now. Until next time...





  1. Such a beautiful photo of Lauren.

    I'm glad your Dad got through that awful experience in the hospital.

    Pam I admire your strength. After such a devastating loss and in the early stages of grieving you had to face your Dad's illness. That's not easy and it would be totally understandable if you had to take a step back from visiting your Dad. But you got stuck in and did what you had to do.

    It's still early days. I'm thinking of you xxx

  2. Pam,
    Your tattoo is beautiful and a sweet remembrance of Lauren! You will always hold your daughter close to your heart and everyone wishes things had turned out differently. She left this earth so young, but she was loved dearly and will never be forgotten.
    I’m happy to read your father is doing better, but he sure went through a lot. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.
    Cathy & Heather

  3. Beautiful tattoo, best wishes to your dad for a quick recovery.

    Sincerely, Rose. (Netherlands)