Monday, August 26, 2013

Trying To Keep Busy

Hi Everyone,

I am not really sure why I continue to write this blog, but I guess I do it to make myself feel better and in some way keep Lauren's memory alive. Today is a hard day for me for some reason. Grief is very sneaky. You can think you are getting stronger and more able to handle your feelings and then BOOM, something triggers a huge wave of sadness and you have to start over. Today is one of those days for me and I have noticed Mark and Ryan are having difficult times lately as well. The realization that sweet Wo is not coming back really hurts sometimes. Don't worry, we will all get over this hump and be stronger than before.

Mark and I have been trying to stay busy and have fun. We have realized life is short and you need to make the most of it. We went to Atwood Lake one day and rented a pontoon boat. We visited some historic buildings and gardens in Zoar. We went to the Portage County Fair yesterday since Lauren loved to go every year. We have been using our pool since it has been hot lately and we even had a bonfire one night. One of our neighbors got a bunch of trees cut down and let us have some wood. I went to breakfast with friends one day last week and we were laughing so hard and being so loud that I don't think the restaurant would care if we ever came back!! I went up to my Mom and Dad's house last week for a few days and had a great time visiting. I went with them one day to look for new cell phones. They finally got them and I went back to their house and drank two beers after the fiasco we had to go through. If you know me at all, you know I rarely drink, but it was a nice end to a trying day. Their friends from Wadsworth, Danny and Ann, came to visit one day when I was there. We have known them since I was a little kid, so it was great to see them and catch up. My Dad is doing great recovering from his surgery. He had an appointment today at U of M and hopes to get off some of his meds. He has been a model patient and we went out and walked a few times when I was there. I could hardly keep up with him!!

Mark and I at Atwood Lake cruising around on a pontoon boat.

My Mom figuring out her new smartphone!
My Dad with his plain Jane phone!!

Kristen and Bruce are doing well. Sis started her new job and loves it. She has a lot of responsibility since she is in charge now rather than being supervised as a resident. She is a born leader and will be great. She and Ryan are going to run in a 5k in a few weeks in Detroit called The Neon Vibe. It will benefit the Children's Miracle Network. The runners wear white and put glow in the dark stuff all over them and then run. I guess there are black lights so they will glow. This is right up Ryan's alley because he likes to go to Raves, although this is not a Rave. He loves dubstep music and likes to dance with glow in the dark stuff on. I know Raves get a bad name because there is drug use involved at them, but Ryan swears he stays clear of all that and just enjoys the music. He is a good kid, so we totally believe him. Here is an ad for the race.

Our friend, Lisa Craine, and her husband David have formed a fundraiser that raises money to help find a cure for Cholangiocarcinoma, the cancer Lauren had and Lisa still has. We became great friends with Lisa and have gone to lunch many times with her. I have posted many pics of us together on this blog. Lauren always felt so at ease with Lisa and they would talk and talk about their cancer and many other things. Lisa was going to be a bridesmaid in Lauren and Gio's wedding. Anyway, the fundraiser is done through the Akron Community Foundation and The Akron Marathon. They raised over $14,000 last year and hope to raise more this year. They are called Craine's Cholangiocarcinoma Crew and this year they are dedicating the fundraiser in honor of Wo. I think this is so sweet and I sure hope a lot of money is raised to benefit the finding of a cure for Cholangiocarcinoma. This cancer does not receive much funding because it is considered rare, so they need all the help they can get. Here is the link to Lisa and David's website. There is a video of them and much more. Thanks for doing all this David and Lisa. You two are amazing!!

This is Wo and Lisa the last time they would ever have lunch together. Breaks my heart.
That is about it for now. I have a Direct TV guy here adding a Genie to our system. DVR, HD, and the whole shebang on all our tvs. Woo Hoo!!! I will leave you with a sweet pic of our Wo when she was a little girl. Oh, how I wish this was a bad dream and I would wake up. Until next time...



  1. Pam, I love that you still write this blog. I find myself checking it about everyday still. I can totally relate to your first paragraph. I miss Lauren so much. Some days it all still doesn't feel real. But I do like hearing how the family and everyone is doing so I hope you keep blogging :) it makes me feel close to Lauren. Glad you are all keeping busy and having some good days. Hugs to you all <3

    Love, Ashley P.

  2. I, too, Pam am glad you are still writing this blog - we all love you guys and think about you all the time. It is probably good therapy for you to write.....Like I told you on Facebook, I LOVE that picture of you and Mark and those SMILES on your faces. Just take one day at a time -
    We all love you guys!

  3. Thank you Pam for continuing to write this blog! Hopefully it may be therapeutic for you! I personally love the updates since you are in my prayers and on my mind often! I think you and your family are doing an amazing job handling everything with Lauren's death! Hugs, Love and Many Blessings, Marybeth Swift

  4. You are such a wonderful person and loved Lauren so much. The pain will never go away. I feel like I am just reading about how I felt when Shirley first left me. It's all so sad. Keep praying will get better and you will get stronger!!

    Love, Teresa