Nothing will help except if Lauren could come back. And I know that is not going to happen, so maybe time will help.
I have noticed that I am crying more often again and things are bothering me. I put on my happy face at work, but sometimes I am so on the verge of busting out crying. The other day I saw a lady that used to live in our neighborhood and she hadn't heard that Lauren had passed. I told her and said that I am doing much better now. Her response was, "I would never feel better if one of my children died." I'm sure I am being overly sensitive, but to me that meant that she felt she loved her children more. Umm, sorry lady. That's not possible.
I see so many moms my age with daughters my girls' ages with babies and small children. That causes me the greatest pain because I know that is impossible with Wo. I'm hopeful with Sis, but they will probably never live near us. I am so grateful to still have two wonderful children, but I feel so bad sometimes that my grief for Wo overshadows them.
On a lighter note, we have been working on Wo's memorial garden. We have it dug in the shape of a heart. We still have to get the brick for around it and pick out flowers. We bought and Mark planted a weeping cherry tree. It is fairly small, but it is perfect. I will post pics of the progress when it is done.
Maybe I shouldn't have written this today because I am in a bit of a funk. I just want to share my feelings and I guess you get the good with the bad. I feel that I am making progress, but losing a child is the greatest pain I could ever imagine.
Take care, everyone and thanks for all of your support.