Family Minus One

Hi Everyone,

I haven't posted in a bit, but I don't feel much has happened that is interesting. We had a nice visit from Sis and Bruce last weekend which was fun. They got here Friday evening and left Sunday evening. They hadn't been here for a long time, but we had seen them at my mom and dad's house since then. They brought me a beautiful hanging basket for Mother's Day and tickets to see Oprah in Michigan in September for my birthday present!! I was so excited. I love Oprah and it is a 2 day event, so Sis and I will have a great time.

We went to dinner Saturday night at Desert Inn. They serve Syrian food and it is delicious. Ryan and Stephanie also joined us, so the whole family was together. I sure wish Wo could have been there as well. We went back to our house and had german chocolate cake and strawberry pie!!

Ok, as if we hadn't eaten enough, we went to breakfast Sunday morning at Farmer Boy. My friend, Chyrel is the manager there and Kristen worked there when she was in high school. It was nice to see Chyrel and have some great food!

Mark and I are hanging in there taking things day by day. Some days are better than others. We really never know how we will feel. I'm just glad I have him to lean on when I am sad. I went to the doctor today and told him that I still am having some hard times and just want to feel happy. He suggested I increase the medication I am taking to see if that helps. He is so wonderful and caring and really listens to me.

As promised, here are some pics of Lauren's memorial garden:



Here is the spot for the garden. Mark removed a tree that had died here.

Figuring out the heart shape with a rope.

Mark digging the heart.

The tree is a weeping cherry tree. Weeping signifying that we are sad and Wo loved anything cherry flavored and anything with a cherry printed on it, appliqued on it or shaped like a cherry!! She even had cherry earrings!

Mark layed all the bricks and I planted the flowers. We both did the mulch. The angel was from my mom and dad.

 

The view we have when we sit on our glider. We have also added the lantern that the cemetery made us remove, so when we look out our bedroom window at night we can see the candle glowing.

It is almost the one year anniversary of Wo's death. I cannot believe it has been that long. I miss her so much and talk to her every day. I believe she sends me signs through the time. I can be doing something and out of nowhere look at the clock and it is almost always a time like 1:11, 2:22, etc. This happens every single day. When it does, I always smile and tell Wo that I love her. Mark and I still go to her grave every day and it never gets easier. Some days I cry and some days I don't. I touch her face on her stone and pretend to smooth her hair. I tell her I love her and miss her. When I pull away, I always wave goodbye to her. I am so glad we live so close to the cemetery. We will never move away from her.

I will leave you with a sweet picture of Wo. As a little girl, she always had a big smile on her face. I pray she is happy in heaven. Thank you for your continued support. Sometimes we feel so lonely, but your comments really help us. Love to all,

-Pam

Our sweet smiling little punkin.

Keeping Busy On Mother's Day

Hi Everyone,

I hope all you moms had a great day yesterday. It was kind of hard for me, but not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Probably because Mark and I stayed busy all day and I didn't give my mind time to wander. I was thinking about two special girls yesterday a lot. Kristen has a friend that lost her baby girl at 30 weeks and only got to see her when she delivered her. My Mom has a friend whose granddaughter lost her son at four months old from SIDS. These mothers were just as much mothers as we all are, but never got the chance to fill their heads and hearts with a lifetime of memories. I am lucky to have that.


Matching shirts at Christmas, Wo with the haircut that Sis lovingly referred to as "Mush" (short for Mushroom head). Love the glasses Sis. Haha!

Mark and I went to breakfast yesterday and then hit Home Depot for a few more flowers, potting soil, and mulch. We went to the cemetery and Mark dug up the soil in front of Wo's grave. I planted five hot pink geraniums and we put down mulch. It looks really nice. We got a letter in the mail that said we can't have the lantern at the cemetery with the candle in it. We were kind of upset, but we have a new home for it. I don't mean to be mean, but I think they should worry more about mowing and less about a lantern. The cemetery was a mess this weekend. Long grass and dandelions everywhere. I would have been so embarrassed to have anyone see it. Mark to the rescue. He went up Saturday morning and took our push mower. He mowed all around Wo's grave so at least her area was nice. It is just so disrespectful to Wo and everyone else that is buried there to let it get that way. I sure hope they mow soon. I feel bad for all the other families. It is so weird the things that offend you after you lose someone. Remember that area that was overgrown and weedy last year that Mark and I cleaned up. It is getting bad again too. Grrrrrr!!! Here are some pics of us making Wo's grave beautiful.

Mark always working so hard.

And working some more.

I think it looks really pretty. Hopefully, the grass will fill in where we wore it out this winter.



We also got most of Wo's memorial garden done at home. It is beautiful. Mark layed all the stones yesterday. We planted flowers, mulched, and put the angel in it. It still needs a few things, but we ran out of steam. Mark worked like a dog all day just to make me happy on Mother's Day. He did such a great job and I am so grateful. I will post pics next time because this blog is getting way too long.

I wanted to mention that my sister, Linda, was named Employee of the Year at Ohio Wesleyan University. We are all so proud of her. To know her is to love her.

Thank you for continuing to read my blog. We are trying our best every day to keep Lauren's memory alive. Until next time,

Love,
-Pam

I am sure Wo is happy with Cleveland's draft picks. She loved going to Browns games and tailgating.

 

Memories of Wo

Hi Everyone! These next couple months are going to be kind of tough on all of us. We are remembering everything that happened last year and it is very dificult. It doesn't help that Mother's Day is coming up and I don't have one of my daughters. The commercials on tv really get to me. Wo always got me a very thoughtful gift and wrote a beautiful card for me every year. I will miss that from her.

Yesterday was my nephew and his wife's one year anniversary. Their wedding was the last time our entire family was together. I remember Lauren looked so pretty at the wedding and nobody would have ever even known she was sick except she walked with a cane. (A fancy zebra one at that!!) We all had so much fun laughing and dancing. I remember it all got to be a little too much for her and she was sitting alone at her table while we were all whooping it up. She had already had her first surgery and was awaiting the second one two weeks from then. My heart broke for her because I knew she wanted to be normal like everyone else. I went over to comfort her but she would have none of that. She got very stubborn and sometimes cranky during the last few months. I think she was just angry that she was dealt such a crappy hand at life and I don't blame her one bit. She did go on to have a great night at the hotel with a bunch of the people from the wedding, Sis and Bruce, and my sister's family.

I found a little book Lauren made for a school project when she was 11. She had to write a story for each year she had been alive. I would like to share a few with you because they really made me laugh. I typed them exactly as she had typed them.

1986-Birth

Hello my name is Lauren Patrice Kunklier.On a snowy Thursday night my mom was laying on the couch watching "St. Elsewhere." My mom started feeling weird so she called my grandma named Tommie to watch Kristen, my sister. My dad took her to the hospital and my mom was in labor all night. The doctor slid into a ditch on the way to the hospital. I was born at 9:40am at Wadsworth-Rittman Hospital and I weighed 8lbs. 9oz. and was 20 inches long. My mom said I was the easiest birth of all three of her kids. I was born on my Daddy's birthday. He was born on March 6, 1959 and I was born March 6, 1986. My dad said it was the best birthday present he had ever received-Lauren Patrice Kunklier

The picture of Lauren and I in her book.

1994- 8 years old

When I was 8 years old we decided we wanted to get another dog since our dog, Gretchen, died. We went to the Animal Shelter and there was a litter of nine puppies. They were found under an old truck right after they were born. They were cute but kind of goofy and lanky. There were two sad looking ones that were in separate cages because their sisters were picking on them. We decided to take one of those. My dad named him Buster. The people at the shelter said he would be very big because he had huge paws. We didn't think he would get that big. Well, he gained like 10 pounds a month and today he weighs around 100 pounds. He is a very sweet and gentle dog, and he loves to play catch. You don't want to pet him right before you leave to go anywhere because your hand will stink really bad. He is a little smelly but I love him very much.

Wo and Buster

I hope you enjoyed Wo's stories. I miss her so much sometimes I can't stand it!! She was one of the three lights of my life and I will never forget her. At least I have many precious memories. Thanks again for following my posts!! Until next time,

Love,
-Pam

Pretty girl celebrating her birthday a few years ago. Fitting since today is Cinco de Mayo!!