Father's Day

Hi Everyone,

Time for an update, I guess. There has not been much happening around here. Mark and I have been working a lot and are so tired most of the time. We have a fun weekend coming up so we are looking forward to that.

Father's Day came and went. Poor Mark was home by himself most of the day. Ryan and I both had to work and Sis and Bruce were in Seattle for Bruce's sister's wedding. Mark seemed to be ok that day. We went to the cemetery that evening and saw Wo for a bit. I promised him that I would make him a good dinner so I will do that today. I might even make him brownies since he loves chocolate. I remember seeing a little poem about Dads that I wanted to share with you. It is so true. I know Mark hurts so much sometimes, but I feel he spends most of his time comforting me.

I also made a video for Mark featuring the song, 'Who Made The Moon" by the Little River Band. It is such a beautiful song and so appropriate. I hope you like it. It is a tear jerker.

 

 

 

 

 

I hope everyone had a special day with their Dads whether they are here on earth or in heaven. I will get to see my dad this weekend. We are going to Michigan for Bruce's graduation from residency. I will have pictures next time!! Here is a picture I just love of Wo. She is at my mom and dad's house

in Oak Harbor. This is the view they have of the river.

 

 

Thanks to my friends for making me laugh at breakfast on Monday. You are all so much fun and I love each and every one of you!! It was great to have some new people there with us too!! Please say a prayer for my friend Dawn's great grandson, Billy as he just had a stem cell transplant and is fighting Neuroblastoma. Until next time,

 

Love,

-Pam

One Year

It is 12:00 midnight as I start this post. I can't sleep as so many things are running through my head. I feel bad that I just called off work for tomorrow. I really don't have it in me to go there and act like everything is great and be so cheerful. I did have the good sense to request Monday off, as it is the one year anniversary of Lauren's death. Mark said tonight that he thinks I am way better than I was six months ago. True, I don't sit and cry for hours each day, but I still feel as though I have a broken heart and miss Wo more each day. I will never get over the fact that she is gone. I still hope she will walk through the front door every day and think about her hundreds of times each day. I never ever thought this nightmare would happen to us.

I find it harder each day to have hope about this horrible cancer called Cholangiocarcinoma. It seems as though someone that I know or know of dies every week or so. This cancer is one of the absolute worst cancers there are. The suffering these poor people have to endure is gut wrenching. I do have a few friends that are doing well and I am grateful for that. I find it all too much to deal with at times so I have pulled away from the website where I am a moderator. I had so much hope that Lauren would pull through and live a long, happy life. My hope faded when that wish became impossible.

I'm not sure what Mark and I will do on Monday. I'm sure we will talk a lot about Wo. But, we do that every day. Not just about Wo, but Sis and Ryan too. We had a bonfire tonight and roasted hot dogs. Our kids loved having bonfires when they were younger. Wo always had to have tarps layed on the ground and sleeping bags, pillows, and blankets put on top of them. We would lay out there and talk and eat. We would lay on our backs and look for shooting stars. Usually, we would all fall asleep snuggled under the blankets until Mark woke us up. Now it is just Mark and I. It seems so quiet without all the kids giggling. I sure miss having them all around. Ryan still lives here, but he is always out and about.

As always, thank you for caring enough to even read my blog. I know this will be a tough week, but we will manage. I will leave you with a few pics of our sweet girl. Say a few prayers that she is happy in heaven and that she knows how much we love and miss her.

Love,
-Pam

The whole family.

Wo and Papa Ron.

Wo, Sis, Ryan, and Grandma Tommie in Sis's dorm room at UT.