I Wonder What Wo Is Doing In Heaven

I wonder often what Wo is doing in heaven. Since being diagnosed with cancer, Lauren met lots of others with her cancer and some with different kinds. Many have passed away and left their families devastated and missing them like we miss our Wo. I wonder if they all see each other in heaven. This is how I imagine it. Lauren eats lunch every day with our friend, Sharon, a lovely lady who passed away last year from gall bladder cancer. She was my age and left behind a sweet daughter that was close to Lauren's age. Marta was a beautiful girl around Lauren's age that lost her life last year due to stomach cancer. She had a passion for hair and make up just like Wo did. I bet they spend time doing each other's hair, make up, and nails. They reminded me so much of each other. I'm sure they are best friends. Kim, a gorgeous lady with a personality to match, passed away last year from Cholangiocarcinoma, the same cancer Wo had. She left behind two teenage daughters. She was a radio show host and friend to all. I'm sure she is taking great care of Lauren because she was such a role model to her and tried to help any way possible when Lauren was diagnosed. Our pal, Cindy, was a wife, mother, and grandma. What a dear, sweet lady she was. She passed this year from Cholangiocarcinoma as well.  She had many talents including card making and gardening. I am sure she has a garden in heaven and teaches Lauren how to grow things. I know she has met other friends that passed recently too from Cholangiocarcinoma like Tim, Trevor, Ryan, Diana, Susan, Diarmuid, Sara, Joe, Jim and so many others whose wives, husbands, sisters, brothers and children are friends of ours on FB or cc.org and those that passed a few years ago like Shirley, Teddy, Jack and so many more. I'm sure all her great grandparents are taking good care of her as well as my cousin, Rick and my Aunt Betty.

Mark and I are still having a very difficult time. It seems each day gets harder than the day before. I see people at the store with two little girls and that makes me sad. I hear someone yelling at their child and that makes me sad. I hear a song on the radio and that makes me sad. I get in our pool and that makes me sad because Lauren was so excited for summer. I get the mail and there is a bridal magazine and that makes me sad. I went in Lauren's room this week to start cleaning it up and totally had a breakdown when I saw all of her things. They all reminded me of fun times we had in the past. She never just bought one of anything. It will take forever to organize all her stuff. She was always planning for the future. Will we ever be ok? Will this pain go away?

I am going to my Mom and Dad's next week for a few days and so is my sister. She is always fun to be around so I am sure she will try and cheer me up. I feel bad leaving Mark and Ryan, but I think it will be good for me. Kristen and Bruce are going to come over for an evening. Sis is so busy with studying for boards and all the orientation stuff for her new job. Plus, on top of that, last weekend she had a kidney stone. She is feeling better, but those are so painful. My Dad and I are also lucky to have had them. I still can't decide which hurts worse, having a baby or a kidney stone!!

The Italian Festival is going on this weekend. Lauren absolutely loved going to this every year with Gio. So much Italian food, music, and spectacular fireworks. We don't think we are going this year. I think it would be way too hard for us and I don't feel like trying to fight back tears all night. I know Gio, his Dad, and brother are working it this year. His Dad and brother work there every year at the Carovillese Club booth selling sausage sandwiches. Gio is working at the beer truck with Bruno's fiance and a bunch of her friends. We are happy they are keeping Gio busy. We sure miss seeing him every day and hope he is doing well.

That is about it for this week. We are excited that there is no rain in the forecast for the near future!! Mark and I will probably hang by the pool this weekend with our pups. Maybe Ryan will join us when he is not working at the bike shop or hanging out with friends. I hope you all have a great weekend. I will leave you with a pic I stumbled across while looking back at Wo's Fb page. I found a few I had never seen before, each more beautiful than the last. We sure do love that girl. Until next time...

Love,
-Pam