Thanks for all of your continued thoughts and prayers. Things are not much better around here. I'm sorry to say that, but they aren't. This is my place to come and let out my pain. I do not post on Facebook about how I am feeling, so if this is too downer for you, I suggest you don't read it. The fact is Mark and I miss our daughter more than ever. Nothing makes us feel better and the pain is always there. People have told us that in time, the pain will diminish. It will have to because we can't live in this hurt forever. Sure, we carry on with our day to day tasks and visit the cemetery every day, but the joy of life is gone for the moment. I know, you all tell me that Lauren is in a better place and she is not in pain anymore. This is true, but I am sure she would love to be planning her wedding, swimming in her pool, eating great food and spending time with her family and her love, Giovanni. Life is simply not fair and we have to learn to accept what has happened. I think that will take a mighty long time.
My Dad's surgery has been postponed for a bit because he had poison ivy and the doctor was not totally convinced that it wasn't shingles. So, until it is totally gone, no surgery. A compromised immune system is not good when replacing a mitral valve. He is kind of happy because now he can do more work on his house!! I swear, he never stops.
We didn't do much for the 4th. Mark wanted ribs from Old Carolina and they had an ad on the radio that they were $10 a slab instead of the regular $19.99 a slab. He called and ordered four slabs and we had a pick up tme of 2:30. He was busy pruning trees with Ryan, so I went to pick them up. It was total chaos and the take out line was moving at a snail's pace. I was next in line and the manager announced that they were out of ribs and that they didn't even have enough to fill any more take out orders. Great!! She did give us a coupon for four free slabs, but it kind of put a damper on our plans. I stopped and got burgers on the way home, since I didn't have anything thawed. Needless to say, nobody was very thrilled. It was rainy, so we decided not to go to fireworks.
Mark wanted to take me out to dinner last night since we never celebrated my birthday this year. It was on Lauren's surgery day. We got dressed up and he took me to my favorite restaurant, Desert Inn. It was delish. We had filets and they bring out a big tray filled with Syrian rice, Greek salad, garlic bread, and broasted potatoes. Yum!!! I had baklava for dessert and Mark had German chocolate cake with ice cream. We talked a lot about Lauren through dinner and cried a few times as well.
Today, we are getting our ribs that we wanted a few days ago. I am making a cake and we are celebrating Ryan and my birthdays. He was 22 on June 21, but was on vacation with Stephanie and her family at the time. It is still rainy here. I wish this stupid front would go away so we could enjoy our summer.
I had a message on Facebook from the girl that runs TMT Rescue. This was one of the charities we had requested donations be sent to in memory of Lauren. It is a rescue group that rescues dogs from unfavorable conditions, fosters them and gives them medical care, and finds them forever homes. With the money that was donated in Lauren's name, they were able to rescue two dogs. We love dogs so much and Lauren would be so happy to know that she saved two dogs and they will be placed in loving homes!!! Thank you to all who donated!
Thanks to everyone who has donated to the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation as well. Hopefully, a cure will be found for this horrible disease.
I will have to hunt around in my picture library for something to post. Maybe a blast from the past from Ryan's birthday in a past year.
Thanks for reading and putting up with my venting. I feel a little better right now. Until next time...
|Ryan celebrating his birthday and Wo, who was always by his side.|