I hope you are all having a great Labor Day. Sorry to say, but this past week has been the hardest for me yet. Darnit, I thought I was supposed to get better, not worse. I am feeling good today so I will forget the past week and forge ahead. I know, I know...One day at a time. This is just exhausting and I can't wait for the day when I can think about Wo with a smile on my face!
Mark was off Sunday and is off today and tomorrow as well. He is so excited to have that many days off in a row. Poor guy hasn't had a vacation since 2011 when we went to Myrtle Beach. The last two years, his vacation was taken as days off when we went to Michigan with Lauren. It is raining right now, but we are hoping to go swimming once the sun comes back out. I made a big breakfast this morning and tried a new recipe called Baked Praline French Toast. It was about 9 million calories worth of goodness.
In honor of Labor Day, Mark and I decided to do a little labor of our own. There is a big monument back by Lauren's grave that always looked terrible. It is dedicated to someone that must have donated money to keep the cemetery looking nice. Hmmmm on that one. The weeds were so grown up and the bushes were all raggy looking. This bothers me every day when we go to visit Wo because we drive in that way and have to look at it, so we decided to take matters into our own hands. Mark loaded up the Explorer with tools, a blower, and tarps and we went to tackle this mess. I want Wo's body to be in a nice place, and it is except for that eyesore. It was crabgrass city and we ripped it all out and trimmed the bushes. Mark was laughing and saying the cemetery workers are probably scheduled to clean it up tomorrow and will have a party when they see it was already done. I don't know whose responsibility it is to keep it nice, but I guess we have kind of adopted it. Here are some before and after pics.
|The disaster we looked at every day when going to see Wo.|
|Mark hard at work and you can see Lauren's grave in the upper left corner. The tiny red dot is flowers at her grave.|
I feel like we did our good deed for the day!! Feels great.
|Mark and I sitting in the comfort of our air conditioned SUV after some hard work.|
I have joined a support group online for parents who have lost children. I'm not sure yet if it is right for me or not. It has over 5,000 members and everyone's stories are so heart wrenching. While the members are so friendly and welcoming, I don't know if this will make me sadder hearing about everyone else. I still belong to my Cholangiocarcinoma website, but don't know if I fit in there either. Most people on there are fighting for their lives and I'm not sure if they want to hear from a Mom that had a child die due to this cancer. Not too uplifting for them. I'm still searching for my purpose and what I am supposed to do. I know I will figure out what that is when it hits me on the head!!
Well, as usual I will leave you with a memory of Lauren.
|Poor little punkin was even beautiful without her hair. She endured such hardship, but always had a smile.|
Have a nice holiday everyone and remember to tell those close to you that you love them every day!!
Until next time...