A Little Scare

Hi Everyone,

Well, another week has come and gone. Lat week seems like such a blur to me and for good reason. There was not much going on the whole week and then Friday morning...POW!!

I woke up early in the morning and noticed a bunch of lights were on in the house. Mark usually gets ready for work and tries not to wake me. He was coming up the steps and looked really weird. He looked at me and looked so pale and grey. He said he didn't feel well. he was dripping sweat and just looked awful. I began to panic thinking he was having a heart attack. He asked me to take him to the hospital, so I ran and brushed my teeth and threw some clothes on. I really thought I should call an ambulance, but he insisted I drive him. I took him to Mercy in Canton and if he wasn't having a heart attack I think he was going to after the way I drove there!! They were great at getting him right in the ER and did an EKG immediately. His heart rate was over 140 and his BP was really low for him. His EKG showed an irregular heartbeat. He was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation aka a-fib. This is a heart arrythmia where the upper chambers pump all crazy while the lower chambers pump normally. The blood doesn't get all the way pumped out of the heart and could lead to a clot. They gave him some meds to try and regulate his heartbeat and then started a drip of heparin to keep clots from forming. He was not happy when they said he would need to be admitted. They did an echo cardiogram and found that his heart is great. No blockages and it is healthy. We saw the cardiologist on Sat. and he said he doesn't know why this happened. Some people get it and have to be on meds to control it. Others only have it once in awhile and some never get it again. He wants to see Mark and if it happens again, he will decide what to do. But he didn't want to put him on meds every day just yet if ever. Since Mark doesn't drink or smoke, which could be two contributors, we narrowed it down to sleep apnea. Mark does snore and did do part of a sleep study last year and just didn't go back for the second part because he hated the masks on the C-Pap. So he will now have to try again and see if that helps. I am just so grateful that he didn't have a heart attack. He was released on Sat. afternoon and we couldn't get out of there quick enough. He really hated being in the hospital.

One good thing that came out of this was that Kristen came home. She was very supportive and helpful through all of this and agreed with everything that was done for Mark. We sure love our Sissy. Bruce was on call so he was not able to come. Ryan and Stephanie came to the hospital Fri. night and we all went to Rockne's for dinner. It was nice to be together but we missed Mark, Bruce, and especially Wo. Kristen went home Sat. afternoon and Mark and I went to El Rincon for dinner. He was tired the rest of the weekend because he got no sleep in the hospital. He went back to work yesterday and is doing fine.

I told you last time that I had joined some grief groups online. The one I joined had so many members that it was way too overwhelming and I just don't think I could've read one more post about someone's child overdosing or committing suicide. So I left that group. I found another one that is smaller and the people are very nice, but I still don't know if this is the way to go. Hearing about everyone else's terrible experiences does not make me feel better, only makes me feel sad for myself and them. I talked with a dear lady I know that has a background in psychology and I asked her if she thought I would benefit from therapy. She said yes and that it would help to talk with someone and let everything out. I am the only one that can decide when the time is right. I also want to get a part time job eventually too. I am looking here and there, but am being very picky. I don't want to get into anything super stressful or I will just crumble. One day at a time!

Yesterday was the three month date of Lauren's passing. We all did ok. I thought I would be crying all day, but I didn't. I usually only get sad when it is least expected and I don't know what triggers it. I did cry when I was talking to my friend on the phone, but that was about it. We all miss Wo so much and I think we always will. We just have to learn how to deal with it. Sorry I don't have many pictures this week. I am going to look through my files to find a good one. That is about it for now. Take care and God bless.

Love,
-Pam

Lauren with two of her best friends, Melissa and Cindy. It is Melissa's birthday today and I'm sure Wo would love to be celebrating with her and all her friends. I hope all Wo's friends remember her with smiles on their faces.