Sorry to say that things are not getting better for us. I'm sure things will get worse before getting better. We miss our Wo so much and nothing seems to help us. I'm sure we are going through the grief process and it will take time to feel better. I have a lot of uncontrollable crying and Mark has a lot of anger and sadness. Gio is just beside himself. Ryan has been on vacation with Stephanie's family, so I am not sure how he's doing. He keeps things inside most of the time anyway. Sis just finished her last day of residency on Friday and will be studying all of July for boards. She starts her new job in August, so she is pretty busy. Bruce starts his last year and new job as Chief Resident. Yay for him! My Dad will be having heart surgery at U of M on July 9th to repair a leaky mitral valve. Say a prayer for him, please. I will be going up to be with him and my Mom. Linda and Wayne will also be coming up. He will probably bounce back very quickly since he is the most fit 81 year old I have ever seen. He just had a heart cath done Friday and he is already getting antsy to paint his whole huge deck when he should be resting. You cannot make him sit still for a second!! I am very thankful for my little pooches, Peanut and Penny. They keep me company during the day and comfort me when I cry. They are so sweet. We are going to plant some really pretty rose bushes today that we bought last weekend. We bought them because they are flashy like Wo. Two different shades of hot pink!! I did have my first dream about Lauren last night. She was sitting in an auditorium and I could only see her from the back, but I knew it was her. I thought I would see a lot more signs from her. Other than the pennies right around her funeral time, not much. I am still looking and still believe. I just want to know that she is ok in heaven. Please cherish every day you have with your children. Here is a poem from my good pal, Lainy, from the cholangiocarcinoma website. She always knows just what to say.
Think about the good times, not the bad,
Laugh at the weird things we did, cry at the sad.
I will be with you in heart, mind, and spirit.
When you need someone to talk to I'll be there listening.
When you are awarded for your success I'll be there smiling proudly.
When you get married I'll be there crying tears of joy.
When you need me most I'll always be there.
I want you to be happy I don't want you to cry over me.
I don't want you to spend your lives in misery.
I want you to move on in your lives. Think of me and smile!
Ours was a great experience of a loving family.
Of love that will last an eternity even though I am gone.
It is only goodbye for a short time for we will see each other again.
Know when the wind blows or the sun shines only on you
That it is me standing next to you.
I hope next time I post that we are all a tiny bit better. Thanks for continuing to care.
|This is how I will always remember Wo. The life of the party!!|