World Cancer Day and Cholangiocarcinoma Awareness Month: Wish We Didn't Need Either of Them

Hi Everyone,

Well, today is World Cancer Day. It is a day to promote awareness and remember all those that it has taken, those fighting, and those that have won. I wish we never had to have a day like this and that their was no such word as cancer. It is also Cholangiocarcinoma Awareness Month. I definitely wish their was no such word as Cholangiocarcinoma because then Lauren would still be here. But cancer does exist and we must fight for a cure. Hopefully, we will see it in our lifetime.

The holidays are over and I wanted to decorate Lauren's grave with something festive for Valentine's Day. Lauren loved every holiday and always made them special. Valentine's Day was directed mostly at Gio, but we usually got some leftover cookies that she made. She was always making cookies!! So, I made a heart shaped wreath, and bought a lantern that would hold a candle. Mark had looked at grave candles online and they are so expensive. I found an inexpensive but nice one at Flower Factory. I have a ton of huge candles, so they will go to good use. We will always have a candle burning at Wo's grave. This makes Mark so happy, especially when he goes to her grave every morning before work. I usually go after work because I cry every time I go there and I don't want to look a mess at work. We went shopping last Saturday and found these really cool LED lights that look like starbursts and change color. I knew Wo would love them. Of course, when I was putting them together I busted one, but Mark fixed it as usual! You can see one is missing the starburst at the top in the picture. I also found a pink twisty thing that twirls in the wind. Her grave looks beautiful. I posted this on Facebook, but for some of you this is your first look at this.

We are supposed to get a big snowstorm tonight. I hope it doesn't get too bad. I cannot wait until spring!!

Kristen had posted about Cholangiocarcinoma Awareness Month on Facebook and Lauren's surgeon, Dr. Sonnenday, posted a very sweet message. He wrote: Lauren lives on in many ways, but inspiring us to find the answer to this disease is a mighty one. I think of her every day. He tried so hard to help her and we are so grateful for his effort. I really miss taking Wo to U of M for treatments and doctor visits. I felt like we were really doing something to kill her cancer. We had a lot of special moments there. We found sandwiches in a vending machine there that we liked better than the cafeteria food. There would usually only be one of the ones that we both like best, but I would always make sure Lauren had it. She would always laugh at me when I would sit there and pretend pout because I had to eat the crappy sandwich. Wow, crazy to say that I miss her chemo days!! I miss everything about her. 

I was going through old pictures and I found this one that I love. It was windy and my hair was going crazy. Wo was trying to help get it under control. I miss every moment we ever spent together, but at least I have some pictures and my memories. That is about it for today. Thanks for continuing to be interested in what I write. Love to all of you,

-Pam