Hurting More As Time Goes By

Hi Everyone,

Sorry to say that things are not getting better for us. I'm sure things will get worse before getting better. We miss our Wo so much and nothing seems to help us. I'm sure we are going through the grief process and it will take time to feel better. I have a lot of uncontrollable crying and Mark has a lot of anger and sadness. Gio is just beside himself. Ryan has been on vacation with Stephanie's family, so I am not sure how he's doing. He keeps things inside most of the time anyway. Sis just finished her last day of residency on Friday and will be studying all of July for boards. She starts her new job in August, so she is pretty busy. Bruce starts his last year and new job as Chief Resident. Yay for him! My Dad will be having heart surgery at U of M on July 9th to repair a leaky mitral valve. Say a prayer for him, please. I will be going up to be with him and my Mom. Linda and Wayne will also be coming up. He will probably bounce back very quickly since he is the most fit 81 year old I have ever seen. He just had a heart cath done Friday and he is already getting antsy to paint his whole huge deck when he should be resting. You cannot make him sit still for a second!! I am very thankful for my little pooches, Peanut and Penny. They keep me company during the day and comfort me when I cry. They are so sweet. We are going to plant some really pretty rose bushes today that we bought last weekend. We bought them because they are flashy like Wo. Two different shades of hot pink!! I did have my first dream about Lauren last night. She was sitting in an auditorium and I could only see her from the back, but I knew it was her. I thought I would see a lot more signs from her. Other than the pennies right around her funeral time, not much. I am still looking and still believe. I just want to know that she is ok in heaven. Please cherish every day you have with your children. Here is a poem from my good pal, Lainy, from the cholangiocarcinoma website. She always knows just what to say.


 Think about the good times, not the bad,
Laugh at the weird things we did, cry at the sad.
I will be with you in heart, mind, and spirit.
When you need someone to talk to I'll be there listening.
When you are awarded for your success I'll be there smiling proudly.
When you get married I'll be there crying tears of joy.
When you need me most I'll always be there.
I want you to be happy I don't want you to cry over me.
I don't want you to spend your lives in misery.
I want you to move on in your lives. Think of me and smile!
Ours was a great experience of a loving family.
Of love that will last an eternity even though I am gone.
It is only goodbye for a short time for we will see each other again.
Know when the wind blows or the sun shines only on you
That it is me standing next to you.

I hope next time I post that we are all a tiny bit better. Thanks for continuing to care.

Love,
-Pam

This is how I will always remember Wo. The life of the party!!

The Past Week

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are all doing well. Thanks again for all the support you have given us. We are so grateful. We have been doing alright, not great. I think it gets harder every day that passes. I seemed to have so much strength right after Lauren passed that got me through the calling hours and funeral. Now that reality has set in, I am having a much harder time. Realizing you won't see or hear your daughter until you pass away yourself is very difficult to deal with. We had so many plans and they are now all gone. Mark and Gio are having just as difficult a time. Ryan kind of holds things inside and Sis and Bruce try to keep busy. My Mom rarely cries and I have seen her cry more times in the past weeks than in my whole life. Everyone loved dear, sweet Wo and we will miss her so much. It is going to take a long time to be happy again. My friend, Debbie, came over last week and we walked around my neighborhood. I had a hard time keeping up with her and she had on flip flops!! She is such a great friend and it was nice to talk with her. Mark and I went to Summit Memorials last week and got ideas for Lauren's grave marker. I will keep it a secret until I unveil it here. It is going to be beautiful and I know Wo would love it. We are going to go back this Wed. and order it. It will take 6-8 weeks to be finished and at the cemetery they only pour the cement footers in Sept./Oct. or in the spring. So it will be a while before Wo gets her stone. I have a bunch of stuff at her grave right now until her stone is set. Mark and I go there every day. We had a nice time this past weekend when we went to Kristen's graduation from residency. We left a little after noon on Sat. and Gio went with us. Ryan is on vacation in North Carolina with Stephanie's family.We got to Bruce and Kristen's at about 3:30. My Mom and Dad and sister, Linda were already there. We all put on our dress clothes and went to the venue, a large ballroom at U of M. It was gorgeous and they really pulled out all the stops. There was an open bar and delicious appetizers. Kristen and her classmates went down the hall to another beautiful room for a group pic. I snuck in and took a few pics myself. Dinner was delicious. Most of us had filets, but my Mom and Mark had salmon. We had a fancy mango cheesecake for dessert. There was a program after dinner where awards were passed out and each resident was called up to receive their diploma and we were told what their plans were. Most were going to be doing fellowships, but some like Kristen are going into private practice. Kristen and the other three Chief Residents all gave nice speeches. We were busting with pride. There were also two slide shows. One was for Dr. Sanford, the program director for anesthesia, who is retiring after holding the position for 22 years. He seems like such a wonderful man. The next slide show was of all the residents. They each submitted pictures for this. Some were really funny and some were sad, especially the one Kristen put in of her and Lauren. That made my Mom really sad and she was crying. We saw a few of the many doctors that took care of Lauren when she was in the hospital. We made sure to thank them all for the great care they had given to Wo. The program was over around 10:00 and we headed back to Kristen's to change our clothes and were on our way home. Kristen and Bruce went out and whooped it up with all their pals. We didn't get home until around 2:00 am. Poor Mark had to stop a few times for coffee on the way home. Gio stayed overnight at our house and we went to breakfast at Farmer Boy in the morning.  We stopped at a garden center and got two beautiful rose bushes on the way home and also stopped at the cemetery to say hi to Wo. Gio went swimming with us, then left later because he had a golf date with the men in his family. It was so good to see him and spend time with him. That is about it for the update. We are trying to get used to our new normal, but I have a feeling it is going to take a very long time if we ever get used to things. Please, all of you, try and be patient and kind to those that you love. To everyone for that matter. Things can change so fast. Never pass up a chance to say "I love you". We tell our kids all the time how much we love them and are comforted in knowing that Wo knew she was loved so much. Here are a few pics from Sis's graduation. Until next time...

Love,
-Pam

Gio!!

Grandma Tommie and Papa Ron!!

 

The always photogenic, Aunt Linda!!

Sis and her best friends, Lisa, Becca, and Meredith.

The U of M Anesthesia Residency Class of 2013!!!!

Proud parents with our Sissy!!

The happy couple, Sis and Bruce!!

Very proud grandparents with Sis! Sorry about my arm in the shot.

The Past Few Days Are A Blur

Our daughter is now buried and life goes on. The last few days have been such a blur that it doesn't seem real. Lauren's calling hours were on Thursday and so many people came to pay their respects. People that were expected, people that were only in her life for a short time but cared enough come, classmates, relatives, people who work with Mark, friends of mine, and people who came from so far away. We were very touched that over 300 people came through the door at the funeral home to tell us how sorry they were and what a beautiful, sweet girl Lauren was. Thank you to all of you that took the time for Lauren and for us. It was difficult for us to see Lauren in her casket. She looked beautiful, but not really like our daughter. I thought her mouth looked different. I know this was only the shell of Lauren, and that her soul and spirit were already gone. She had on a really pretty dress that Kristen and I had gotten for her and a white sweater and pink scarf. I kept touching her hair. Her face and hands were very cold to the touch and her arms felt weird to me. It made me upset that she was so cold. We lifted the cover to make sure her little pink footies were on her feet and they were. Lauren was holding a rosary and had a crucifix with her. Gio's Mom had a rosary made out of roses and it was hanging in Wo's casket. It was so beautiful. Gio had all of Wo's rings on her fingers and left the wedding ring on her, but took her engagement ring to wear on his neck chain. We all stood up by Wo's casket for four hours during the calling hours and were all so emotional and tired afterwards. We had Lauren's wedding dress and veil on display for everyone to see because she was so excited to finally get married to her love, Giovanni. She was so proud of that dress and it sparkled and looked so beautiful, only not as beautiful as she would have looked in it. We had large foam boards of pictures of Wo throughout her life and her dear friend, Melissa, also made one. Kristen put together a slide show that ran the entire time of the calling hours. Many people just sat and watched it, some laughing, and then crying. It was time to leave our girl and get some rest, because the next day was her funeral. Kristen and Bruce, Matt and Katie, and Michael stayed at Gio's that night. Many friends came over as well to keep him company. My Mom and Dad stayed with our friends, Danny and Ann from Wadsworth. Mark, Ryan, and I stayed at our house. My sister, Linda and her husband, Wayne had left for Las Vegas the day before Lauren passed. We all urged them to go, not really thinking things would take a turn for the worse so fast. I felt so bad for them because they wanted to come home so bad after hearing the news, but could not get a flight back that didn't cost more than their whole trip. They finally made it home Thursday night and came up with only a few hours of sleep. We all met at the funeral home at around 11:00, before the calling hours that began at noon and lasted until the service at 1:00. I brought Lauren's baby blanket that she has kept in her pillow all these years from home and Mark layed it in her casket next to her.  There were many people that attended the funeral service including Lauren's surgeon, Dr. Sonnenday and one of Lauren's SICU nurses that we absolutely love named Kim. There were others that came all the way from Michigan and my dear friend, James, drove all the way from Virginia as well as Lauren's friend, Bianca that came just as far. We were so touched by everyone that made the long journey to say good bye. The service was officiated by a priest from St. Anthony's named Father Jim. It was a very heartwarming service. Bruce also spoke and gave such a beautiful talk about Lauren. When the service was over, everyone was dismissed row by row and walked past Lauren in her casket. We got to say our final good byes and I tucked her blanket around her hand so that she would have it forever. We also had Wo's wedding dress and veil put in her casket with her. The casket was loaded into the hearse and we drove to the grave. Many people chose to walk since it wasn't very far. There was a small awning and four chairs under the awning. Mark and I and my Mom and Dad sat while Father Jim spoke once again and said a prayer. The funeral director handed all of us a rose from Lauren's flowers that were on top of her casket. We visited with family and friends at the gravesite for a little while. We went back to Gio's and visited with family and friends. We were thrilled that Dr. Sonnenday came to the house and we got to visit with him. He could not stay for the wake because he had to get back to Michigan to do a liver transplant later that night. We all left to go to the Carovillese Club for Lauren's wake. Gio's family had graciously offered to do this for us. We had wonderful Italian food from Dontino's restaurant and cake made by Jolene. Many people made cookies too. The place was decorated in red and white. Lauren's favorite color was red. Thank you so much to the Ricchiutis, Romeos (Gio's Nonni and Pa), Jacqui and her family and friends, Dontinos (Anthony, Big Tim) and everyone else that made this such a beautiful celebration of Lauren's life. We felt the love. Most of our relatives and friends left for home. Sis and Bruce didn't leave until Sat. night. Mark and I went and bought me a comfy chair that rocks to take to the cemetery when I go to visit Lauren. We go every day to visit her, even if it is for a short time. We are going to Summit Monument tomorrow to look at stones for Lauren's gravesite. We have in mind what we want for her, so hopefully we can get it soon. I am keeping very busy. I went to breakfast with friends yesterday and they sure did cheer me up. Thank you Dawn, Debbie, Chyrel, Ruth, and Liz!!! Mark and I had gone to Donzell's and Canton Road Garden Center and bought a bunch of flowers on Sunday. I am having fun planting all of them and making pots. I would like to thank all of you that sent cards, flowers, and donations for the  Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation and TMT Rescue. We are overwhelmed by your generosity and hopefully many people and furry friends will be helped. I will continue to update this blog from time to time. It really helped me to write my feelings down and I hope some of you might consider writing one. Thanks again for everything and I will talk to you soon.

Love,
-Pam

Our precious girl's gravesite. May she rest in peace.

 

A message to Wo from her little brother when she was in the hospital.

Just A Little Update

I just wanted to touch base with all of you and let you know that the last few days have been very tough on all of us, but also some of the most beautiful because of the outpouring of love we have received. It will take a lot of time and energy to let you know all about the past few days and I promise I will as soon as I am up to it. I am absolutely exhausted physically and emotionally. Thank you all so much for coming to the calling hours, funeral, sending cards and flowers, donations to the charities of Lauren's choices, food, and just kind words. We feel so blessed. Talk to you soon.

Love,
-Pam

Paying Respects To Dear Wo

Hi Everyone,

Today is the day when many friends and family will come to pay their respects to our sweet Lauren. We are not sure what to expect, but people keep telling me that they think many people will be at the calling hours. That would be such a comfort to all of us. I'm sorry I didn't post anything yesterday, but the day just got away from me. Mark and I took Lauren's burial outfit to the funeral home and then went to breakfast. Bruce, Sis. Ryan, and Steph stayed all night with Gio and in the morning his neighbors, Barb and Dale brought over a ton of food for them. Muffins, rolls, fruit salad. They are just so good to Gio and have always been so friendly. We received a lovely gift basket from colleagues of Sis and Bruce's in Michigan. Thank you so much. We have been receiving many cards as well. Please know that I will thank you all personally, but it is difficult at this time to mention everyone. Just know we appreciate hearing from each and every one of you. Sis and I went to get our hair done in the afternoon at Salon Kisha. The guys opened our pool and Gio gave Ryan and Mark haircuts. Gio's mom and dad, John and Jolene had asked us all to go to dinner with them last night at a Mexican restaurant. It was John, Jolene, Mark, Sis, Bruce, Gio, Ryan, Stephanie, Jacqui, Bruno, and myself. We had a wonderful time with them talking about Wo. I know Wo would have loved to have been there and that made us all sad. We sure did eat though and it was delicious. Jacqui and Bruno gave us an Italian gift basket. This family is so generous and full of love. We love them all to pieces. Thanks, guys. Our power went off in the afternoon and instead of going home to see if it was on or not, we went to Gio's for a while. I had to finish some pictures I was mounting on foam board for the calling hours. Sis is working on a picture loop for the calling hours that will show on a big screen. We had asked our dear neighbor and friend, Dee Dee to do Lauren's makeup and hair for the funeral. She graciously said yes and said her 17 year old daughter, Haylie would like to do her makeup. I don't know many 17 year olds, let alone many adults that would want to take on this very difficult task. We got a text from Dee Dee saying that Lauren looked beautiful and Haylie sang to her as she(Haylie) made Wo look like Wo. Haylie is very artistic and has similar ideas about makeup. How can we ever thank these two precious ladies. We are forever grateful to you. Sis and Bruce stayed with Gio again and Ryan came home because he missed his own bed. I slept with Penny in Wo's bed hoping to dream about her, but I don't think I did. I have trouble remembering any dreams probably because I am a very sound sleeper. I went to the cemetery twice yesterday. Lauren isn't even buried there yet, but I find it so comforting for some reason. Well, I better get going because we are to be at the funeral home by 3:00 and it will be here before we know it. thanks again for your support and love. Until next time...

Love,
-Pam

Fun times with our family.

Busy Day

Hi Everyone,

We had a very busy day today. But, first I will tell you about last night. Gio had a bunch of guys over last night at his house and Ryan and Stephanie went over. Bruce and Sis decided to go over as well and stayed overnight with him. I got up early and got McDonalds for breakfast and took it over. All the boys went to our house to have a workout session in the basement. Afterward, Gio and Bruce went back to Gio's to mow his lawn. Sis and I went shopping for a dress and sweater to bury Wo in. We found a really pretty dress, but had a really hard time finding a long sleeved sweater. We finally found a really pretty white one at Macy's.  I was ok until I picked out a little pair of slipper socks for Wo and I totally had a crying spell in Burlington Coat Factory. This is how it has been for all of us. Sis and I had lunch at Panera and it was sad because Lauren loved to eat at Panera. We were looking through all of our pictures later today to mount on foam board for the calling hours. Lauren was such an adorable baby and child that it broke our hearts. I made Sis drive me to the cemetery again today so I could look around. Everything seems as if it is not real. We had pizza and salad for dinner at our house with the whole gang. It was good to see Gio today. He is the closest thing we have to Wo and we sure do love him. Sis is working on pictures for a slide show at the calling hours. She has been such a big help to me these past few days. Our house is a little in shambles. I was gone for almost a month and Mark was up there for a lot of the time. Imagine if you will, how a house might look when a 21 year old boy is left to take care of everything and three dogs. Now, multiply that by 100!! I think it will take a month to get this house back in order. I really shouldn't say anything about Ryan. He is a very good kid, but his idea of clean and mine are two different things. Love you, Bub!!! I have been sleeping every night in Lauren's bed and last night I was on my computer and fell asleep. I woke up laying on my laptop, the lights on, and the tv still on at 5:30. I remembered I never fed my dogs either. I think not much sleep in the hospital is really catching up. Mark and I are taking Lauren's clothes and makeup to the funeral home tomorrow. Our next door neighbor, Dee Dee and her daughter, Haylie are going to do Wo's makeup and hair. We are so honored that they said yes when we asked if they would do it. Dee Dee is a hair dresser and Haylie is a cool kid with a passion for art. She has a similar way of doing her make up and as you can tell, Lauren had her own style where fashion and makeup are concerned. Sis and I have hair appointments in the afternoon. I can't even remember the last time I had a haircut. That is about it. Thanks to all that have written e-mails, messages on the funeral home site, messages on Facebook and this blog. They are all so nice and really help all of us. We sure are blessed to know all of you. Until next time...

Love,
-Pam

Beautiful sisters.

Lauren's Funeral Arrangements

Hi Everyone,

We had a tough night last night because everywhere we turn in our house, something reminds us of Wo. I slept in her bed last night that is in our living room with our two little dogs hoping I might get a sign that she is around. I did find a penny on the floor which might be from her. I know she will never show herself through butterflies, birds, bugs, or anything else with wings because she doesn't like them and is scared of them. I know you probably think I've gone off the deep end, but I do believe people come back somehow to let us know they are ok. Gio stayed at his parents house last night because he couldn't bare being at his house by himself. We told him he can stay here whenever he wants and we want to continue to be in his life as often as he wants us. Mark, Ryan, Gio and I went to breakfast at Farmer Boy this morning for breakfast. Then we went to the funeral home to make arrangements for Lauren. The lady that took care of us made everything very easy and we feel good about our decisions. Lauren will be buried in Uniontown so we can go visit her gravesite whenever we want. Her obituary will be in the Akron Beacon Journal on Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm sure if you google the paper you will find it online. Here are the details:

Funeral services will be held Friday June 14th at 1:00 pm at Hopkins Lawver Funeral Home
3553 Northdale Street Uniontown, Ohio 44685
(1 block NW of the square of 619 and Cleveland Avenue)

Friends may call at the funeral home 4-8pm Thursday June 13th and from 12 noon Friday until service time.

Burial will follow at Uniontown Greenlawn Cemetery.

We suggest in lieu of flowers that memorials be made to:

The Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation
5526 West 13400 South, #510
Salt Lake City, Utah 84096

or

TMT Pet Rescue (an animal rescue group that saves and fosters dogs and finds them forever homes)
c/o Katie Brodie
2675 Maitland Circle
Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio 44223

Thank you all for continuing to support our family through Facebook messages and e-mails. We really appreciate your love for Lauren.

Sis and Bruce are coming to our house tonight and will be here through the weekend.

Love to all,
-Pam

The Saddest Day Of Our Lives

Hi Everyone,

I'm sure most of you already know, but for those who don't, our beloved Lauren Patrice went to heaven today at 11:37 am. We are all heartbroken that she is not here with us, but happy she is no longer in pain. I know many of you question how this happened because she was fairly stable for a few days before yesterday. That is true, but it was the ventilator and all the meds she was on that was making it look that way. After the MARS on Friday, she was ok, but on Saturday morning the nurses flipped her from her tummy to her back and her oxygen level plummeted again. The attending on duty decided to bronch her again and it didn't help. They then turned her back on her tummy and she wasn't doing very well. They turned her vent to a maximum setting, but it was very hard on her. Dr. Sonnenday spoke with us and said he didn't think she was improving and wanted to know what our wishes for her were. We said enough is enough and decided that Sunday morning her vent settings would be turned to a minimum setting and that she would be disconnected from the dialysis and all her ivs. The nurses turned Lauren on her back and we gathered around her and told her we loved her. She was still on pain meds and sedation. She had not moved her hands or feet for almost three weeks. She had not opened her eyes for a few days. Once she was on her back, her eyes opened as if she was telling us goodbye and saying she was ok. She then shut her eyes and her breathing got more shallow until it stopped. It was very peaceful and beautiful. We left the room and the nurses cleaned her up and took all of her lines out. She looked like an angel when we came back in the room. Dr. Sonnenday stayed in the room with us the entire time and shed tears for Lauren with us. What an incredible doctor and man. He told us that Lauren really contributed to the fight against Cholangiocarcinoma and they learned a lot from her case. We are so proud of her. We arranged to have her brought back to Uniontown and we will be meeting with the funeral director tomorrow. I will post the date and times for her service and calling hours once I find them out. God bless all of you for your thoughts, prayers, cards, meals, and gifts. We feel so lucky to know such wonderful people. That is about it for now. I am totally exhausted and sad as is the rest of the family.

Love,
-Pam

 

 

Our precious girl, Lauren Patrice Kunklier 3/6/86 - 6/9/13
Rest in peace Wozer Girl.

Sunday At 12:45 am Post

I am sorry I didn't post anything yesterday. It was such an emotional day for all of us. We had some major decisions to make and we did it as a family. That is all I want to say for now. Please keep our sweet Lauren in your prayers.

Love,
-Pam

One of my favorite pics and Gio's too.

Friday Night Update

Hi Everyone,

The MARS ran for eight hours today and Wo is done with it until after the weekend. Dr. Sonnenday was in this evening and said we will all sit down and discuss things on Monday, but he will also be in Saturday and Sunday. I know you all probably get tired of me saying this, but he is such a wonderful, compassionate doctor and he cares so much about Lauren. What more could we ask for in a doctor? Not one thing in our opinion. We will forever be grateful for all he has done and the chances he has given Lauren. Lauren is stable and on her tummy again. We are hoping her liver functions as well as many numerous things show signs of improvement this weekend. Gio called today and got another phone blessing from the 97 year old priest in Illinois named Father Rookey. He has seen many miracles after praying over people and we hope Lauren will be another miracle. We decided to use some of our Panera gift cards this evening and Sis and I went and let her dogs out, then went to get dinner. It was great thanks to the many of you that have sent gift cards. Thank you again. Bruce is still working, Gio and Mark went for a walk, and Sis is reading stuff on her ipad. We received a bunch of cards and I would like to say thanks so much to:

Brent and Kelsey Hite
Kristin Syx
Lindsay Sawyer Wilson and Family
Ronda (Debbie Nelson's friend)
Jeff and Joyce Flaherty and Family - thank you for the gift card too!
Nick Pilolli - thanks so much for the gift card!
Bruno and Jacqui - thanks for all the cards and gift cards!!!
Dawn Lewis - What is this now? Card 4 or 5? Thanks!!

I apologize, but I can't remember if I ever thanked these people. It was a few weeks ago, and I can't remember if you were properly thanked.

Jason and Carolyn Haus - thank you for the card and Panera gift card.
Babar Fiza and his girlfriend, Natalie - thank you so much for the enormous pasta casserole that was so delicious. We ate every last bit.

If I forgot anyone else please know it was not intentional and we are touched by every card, gift card, food donation, monetary donation, prayer, and thought that we receive. I hope I have great news to report over the weekend. I will leave you with a few pics I took today.

Love,
-Pam

Lots of cards for Lauren.

The MARS machine is the small machine on the left.

Gio!!

 

Mark enjoying cupcakes.

Friday Afternoon Update

Hi Everyone,

Lauren did well all night and is on the MARS machine again today. She loved being on her tummy all night and seemed happy. They did bronch her today just to look around and try and get some secretions from her lungs. They wanted to do this because they had to turn her over on her back for a bit. They have to move her a lot so she doesn't get stiff and sore and her tummy might be sore because of the incision. Gio stayed all night with Wo last night and I think she is happiest with the love of her life. Lauren had her eyes open most of last night and we spent a lot of time talking to her. She seemed to blink and listen to Kristen when she talked to her. I told her she needed to get better for her wedding and she frowned at me as if to say, Duhhhhhh! I know Mom. Mark has been reading her a Reader's Digest and will then go to the National Geographic next. I'm sure Wo is rolling her eyes about that one!! When they flipped her on her back she still stayed stable and is continuing to stay stable. Yay!! We are in the lounge right now. We went to Bruegger's Bagels this morning and used our certificate for free bagels from Jacqui and Bruno and some other nice people. They were awesome. Thanks so much. I think we are getting dinner from Panera tonight because we have received lots of gift cards to there. We had a visit last night from Asher, who is now a cardiac fellow in Pittsburgh.He was one of Kristen's roommates during med school in Toledo and did his residency at U of M. He was also one of her bridesmen in her wedding. He gave us a card with Panera gift cards from he and AJ, another roommate and bridesman of Sis's who is now a psychiatry resident in South Carolina. Kristen was a groomswoman in his wedding this past year as well. I am so happy that Sis and Bruce have so many nice friends that care so much about them. Kristen's good friend, Becca, brought us some huge fancy cupcakes from Whole Foods last evening and her friends, Alan and Babar stopped by to say hi too. These are all anesthesia residents with Sis. Thanks for the delicious cupcakes, Becca!! You are such a sweetheart. Well, I am going to finish this for now and I will try and update tonight. Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes. We appreciate your concern.

Love to all,
-Pam 



Our beautiful girl before she and Gio went to his Senior Prom.

Thursday Afternoon Update 6/6/13

I'm sorry, but Lauren had a terrible time last night. She seems to do ok during the day and at about 4:00 am is when all hell breaks loose. She was fine after her first MARS treatment, but we noticed her oxygen level was dipping into the 80's. They didn't really want to do another bronch, so things were getting worse. I didn't really want to bother anyone at Kristen's because they needed their sleep and the docs and nurses were trying to handle things. Kristen was updated and came in around 6:00 am and didn't like the looks of things. Bruce, Mark, and Gio got here soon after. They decided to go ahead and bronch Wo again since she was going really low with her oxygen. Bruce suggested we go out when they do it this time and I'm glad we did. The bronch didn't work and she was going down. We have witnessed so many bad spells with Lauren, I don't know how many more we can take. Her belly was really hard so they did a procedure called a paracentesis. I know all my CC friends know what that is, but for the rest of you it is when they insert a large needle into the abdominal cavity and drain fluid. They didn't get a lot, about half a liter I would guess, maybe more. Some people get many liters drained and have to keep having it drained every week. I was happy to see they didn't get too much. Someone decided to try and put Wo in the prone position, which is on her stomach with her head higher than her legs. She has not been able to sleep on her stomach for about two years because it hurt her liver to lay that way. I think she really enjoyed being turned because miraculously her oxygen went to the high 90's and has stayed in the 90's all day. She is resting comfortably and is back on the MARS machine today. She has been opening her eyes when we talk to her because she is off the paralytic and I think sedation while on the MARS. We had a heart to heart with Dr. Sonnenday and assured him that we want to continue with the treatment because we know Lauren would want to. Kristen is off work for awhile because it is just to hard for her right now. My Mom and Dad came to visit today. I love when they are here. They brought food from Honey Baked Ham and my Mom made more of her delicious brownies. We left Wo's room for a little bit while they bathed her and cleaned her up. We are all sitting in a small waiting room and everyone is asleep except for me. I wish I had my camera, but it is in the room. Mark is next to me sawing some mighty big logs. Haha. Sis, my Mom, and Gio are also snoozing. My Dad is still outside the room talking with the MARS rep who is here for training purposes and just to oversee things. When he finds someone interested in mechanical things, he will talk all day!!! I'm sure he is really enjoying himself. That is about it for now. We really could use some good days and definitely some good nights. Take care and talk to you later.

Love,
-Pam

Our 3 monkeys about 8 years ago in Myrtle Beach. 

Wed. Evening Update 6/5/13

Hi Everyone,

There is so much to talk about I don't know where to begin. The MARS caused quite a commotion at U of M today. Very important big cheeses named Dr. Bartlett and Dr. Campbell were in to check things out. We had no clue who they were, but were told they were very important doctors. Actually, Sis had told us about Dr. Bartlett before and said that he had invented a very important piece of medical equipment called the ECMO. You can google it if you want to know more. I believe I remember hearing about it from an episode of Grey's Anatomy. That is as far as my medical knowledge goes. There was a rep from the company that sells the machine that was here all day as well as some biomedical engineers from U of M. Dr. Sonnenday was here when the MARS was started up. It was a very exciting time. Lauren had a nurse today named Rob that is very mechanically savvy. He was trained on how to use it and seemed to catch on to everything very quickly. They didn't get started until around 3:00pm and ran it until 8:00pm. They are hoping to get it started up earlier tomorrow and run it at least six hours. They will also run it Friday and be off the weekend, then decide if they will run it next week if they see signs of improvement. Please pray that this helps Lauren get better. I had a huge surprise today when I came back upstairs from breakfast and two of my best girlfriends, Dawn and Debbie, along with Debbie's daughter (and Lauren's bridesmaid), Jill, and Debbie's husband, Jim were sitting in the lounge. We had a wonderful visit and they brought all kinds of snacks, magazines, and books for us. It was so nice to see all of them. We all ate lunch together and went to see Lauren. Debbie even said a nice prayer for Wo. I love you guys so much. thanks for the wonderful surprise!! Yesterday, Lauren's good friend and bridesmaid, Cindy and her brother, Rick came to visit. Cindy had a very hard time seeing Lauren how she was and I felt so bad for her. Rick kept everyone laughing and was really nice. They stayed until about 9:30 and left for the long ride home. Before Rick and Cindy arrived, a friend of Sis and Bruce's and doctor at U of M named Ehsan, and his beautiful girlfriend, Sara, brought us some wonderful Mediterranean food for dinner. It was so delish and very thoughtful. We had chicken, lamb, beef, rice, salad, hummus, pitas, and baba ganoush?? not sure how to spell it. They were two of the nicest people and we were amazed by how generous they were. Thank you again, Ehsan and Sara. We received quite a few cards and flowers today from some wonderful people. I want to recognize all of them and say thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Beautiful flowers from :

The Grape and Granary - Thank you so much, Pastor Family.
Mike Kozup - An arrangement larger than we have ever seen and a sweet stuffed teddy bear.

Cards and gift cards:

Bianca Leonardi and Ashley Pizzute
Cindy and Rick Anderson and Cindy's boyfriend, Anthony
Flaherty Family
Tammy Tomello
Dawn Lewis
Jim, Debbie, and Jill Butler
Derek and Erin Klaus

Again, thank you so much. Your generosity is so appreciated. We have a large part of a wall covered with cards in Lauren's hospital room. My Mom and Dad are coming back tomorrow. I'm sure with my Dad's very mechanical mind, he is very excited to see the MARS machine. Well, I am super tired and it is my turn for hospital duty, so I will leave you now. Thanks for all the prayers and concern. We love you.

-Pam

Lauren and I a few years ago getting our Christmas tree.

MARS Is Running

Hi Everyone. Sorry this is so late. Some friends from home surprised us and I haven't had time to write. The MARS machine has been up and running for about 3 hours. I will tell you all about today and last night this evening when I have time. Lauren is doing well and everything is ok. I apologize again for leaving all of you hanging. There was a huge flurry of activity with this machine and I haven't been near my computer all day. Talk to you later.

Love,
-Pam

Tuesday Night Update 6/4/13

The MARS machine is all set for tomorrow. Dr. Sonnenday got it approved and we are excited. There will be a rep from the company that is also a nurse that will operate the machine. Lauren will also have a nurse from U of M. I will write all about it tomorrow since it is so late. Gio stayed with Wo and I came back to Sis and Bruce's for some much needed rest. Lauren is resting comfortably. I will update tomorrow.

Love,
-Pam

Another New Day Tues. 6/4/13

OK. So I will try again today to remember everything I wrote last night, then lost. I really hate when that happens. Yesterday, Lauren was much happier after her bronch. Her oxygen levels were in the mid to high 90's most of the day. They started dipping in the early morning hours and they had to turn her oxygen back up to 85% from 75% There are talks there may be a bronch done today because she has a lot of thick secretions in her lungs that are down too far to be suctioned by the nurse or respiratory. She seems to be ok at the moment. Ryan, Mark, and Gio went home to sleep at Sis and Bruce's last night. I am the only one that can get good sleep in the room with Lauren because I am a very sound sleeper. Nurses can come in and out all night and I don't hear a thing. I think I am most comfortable being right there by Lauren and knowing she is ok. We had a good chat with Dr. Sonnenday yesterday. He said the MARS machine had been approved and it should arrive today or tomorrow. There will need to be some training for the staff. We are very hopeful this will help Lauren. This is the first time any patient has used this machine at U of M so I'm sure many people are excited to see if it is beneficial. Lauren had an EKG last night because her nurse noticed that something looked a little different. I haven't heard anything yet, but I'm sure they will mention it when the ICU team rounds today. Lauren received some cards and flowers yesterday. I sure wish she were awake to enjoy all of them. I will list everyone that sent something and we would all just like to say "Thank You" for thinking of our girl. She would be so happy to know that you all care. So here is a big shout out to:
Ashley and Riley Hess - Get well card and Riley drew Lauren a get well caterpillar! Thanks, Riley!!

Stella d'egidio - A nice card and enrollment of Lauren into the Sacred Heart Spiritual Society where Lauren will have prayers said for her at daily mass.

Marybeth Swift - Beautiful card, donation, and prayer book called Healed of Cancer.

Lindsey Durkos - Lovely floral basket.

Jolene Ricchiuti - A gorgeous floral arrangement that looks like a wedding bouquet. She said she wanted it to look that way on purpose for Wo.

Jacqui and her Dad have worked really hard to get Lauren prayed over by a priest from Illinois that has witnessed many miracles after praying for these people. They managed to get him to pray for Lauren over the phone. He was a delightful man who was 97 years old. We all gathered around Lauren (including her nurse, Kim) and prayed. It was beautiful. Thanks Jacqui and Jeff.

Amit (the transplant fellow) and his entourage were in bright and early this morning. They usually round at about 6:00 am. Some days I am sound asleep and don't even hear them!! He said that Wo's chest x-ray looked better, which is encouraging. Mark just showed up a few minutes ago. Kristen was in around 6:00 am before work. We will probably wait for rounds and then go eat breakfast. We are hoping for a good day or at least uneventful day and looking forward to the MARS machine arriving. Wo has one of our favorite nurses again today. Kim is such a joy and keeps us in stitches with her funny stories. We all love her like a family member. Tiffany is working with her today and the funny stories have already begun!! You might think it is weird that we laugh when Lauren is laying in the room fighting for her life, but she would not want us crying every day all day and laughter really is the best medicine.

Have a great day today and thanks for the support, prayers, and love.

Love,
-Pam

Kristen always looking out for her little sister.

Monday Evening Update 6/3/13

Hi Everyone,

I just spent a long time writing out my blog and something got messed up and it is gone. So I will write a long post tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know that Lauren is hanging in there. They did notice a little difference in her heart so they will be doing an EKG tonight to check it out. Her pulse ox is better since the bronchoscopy this morning. It has been hanging in the low 90's. Lauren is resting comfortably and I am ready for bed. Good night and talk to you tomorrow.

Love,
-Pam

Monday Morning Update 6/3/13

Well, Wo didn't stay stable for long. Last night her oxygen level kept dropping. It dipped into the 70s, but not as low as last time. The respiratory team suctioned her and got it up to 85 where it stayed most of the night. She had a chest x-ray and her lungs looked worse than in the morning. They called in the attending, Dr. Blank at around 4:30am to do another bronchoscopy. They suctioned out a mucus plug and some old blood. Her oxygen level is now at 95 and she is resting comfortably. Her dialysis filter clotted last night as well, so they had to change it out. She had two nurses last night and kept them hopping. Gio and I both stayed with her because I had a feeling something was up. She is better today and even tolerated being turned in her bed which is important to prevent pressure sores. She is back to having fluid drained and is down about 20 pounds. Her poor legs are so swollen. Kristen came in at around 4:30 am and then had to go to work, but only downstairs in the pre-op area. So, she is close. I think Bruce is down in the main ORs today too. He came in at around 11:00 am and works 12 noon to whenever. Mark and Ryan also came in at around 5:00 am. Gio and I would doze here and there . I woke up at 2:00 am and Gio was still awake watching over Lauren. Dr. Sonnenday has plans to bring in a MARS machine. This machine will filter the blood through her liver and clean it better than the dialysis. I think it works with the dialysis. If you google MARS liver machine you can read more about it. He said this is by no means a cure, but will aid in helping Lauren's body rest and heal while it is doing the work. We had a family meeting and are all agreeable for it to be used. It is definitely a longshot that Lauren will ever make a recovery, but we want to be confident we gave her the best shot without being selfish on our parts. We love her so much and will honor whatever God's wishes are for her. Thank God for our strong family that will always stick together and love one another. We feel so blessed to have that. Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. What would we do without all of you! I will update again if anything changes.

Love,
-Pam

I hope this works. I made a video for Lauren last year for her one year of beating cancer. Hope you enjoy.

 

 

I love this. Lauren and Gio had a caricature drawn when we were on vacation in Myrtle Beach. Lauren liked how tiny the girl drew her. We think Gio looks like Ronnie from Jersey Shore. Haha.

 

Sunday Afternoon Update 6/2/13

Stable is the word today. We need Lauren to be stable without any major catastrophes so her body can heal and her liver has a chance to heal. Every time something happens, she is back to square one. Her filter on her dialysis clogged last night and all these bells and whistles were going off. It scared me so much that I just sat in my recliner and prayed and prayed. Kristen assured me today that everything was fine and I am just jumpy because so many bad things have happened. Lauren's filter was not working correctly working this morning and her body temp was cold. Her nurse closed the doors to her room and turned on the bair hugger. It was like a tropical rainforest in the room. Luckily, we had a fan to blow on us. Another nurse got the heater to work correctly, an now Wo is toasty warm. Dr. Sonnenday was in today to see us. He is working on some ideas. Jacqui and her dad had arrange for a priest to come and pray over Lauren. He just left the room and said he will be back often to pray for her. We were very comforted by this as I am sure Lauren was as well. Bruno (Gio's brother) and Jacqui ( Bruno's fiancee') came from Ohio to bring food to us and visit. Jolene (Gio's Mom) outdi herself as usual by sending a ton of food. The lasagna pan was transported in a catering box that kept it cold on the trip up and they cooked it at Kristen and Bruce's house. She also sent a huge salad, bakery bread, and homemade apple streudel. Kristen and Bruce brought everything to the hospital cafeteria and the lasagna pan was so heavy that muscle man Bruce even had a hard time carrying it the long distance. We guessed it to weigh over 30 pounds. It was so good that I can't even explain how good it was. Like dance in your chair good!! Thank you a million times to Jolene for making such a fabulous meal. Bruno and Jacqui also gave us a card with a lot of gift cards in it to local restaurants and carry outs from them and many others. This will help out so much because we eat almost all of our meals here. The Abraham family (family friends of Gio's family and Lauren) sent a card with some Visa gift cards. That will help so much with expenses and we are forever grateful to Emmed, Amin, Amani. Thank you for the gift cards Jacqui and Bruno, Stacey Lynn, Al Petrosino and family, Meredith Shemy, Amy Myers Guthrie, John and Jolene Ricchiuti, Jeff France, Emmed, Hanan, Amani, and Amin Abraham, and Ann Mckee. Your generosity is so much appreciated. Ryan is heading up today to spend some time with us and Wo. It will be so nice to see him. Stephanie was gracious enough to stay home and take care of our dogs. I miss them so much I can't stand it, but I try not to think about them too much. I know Stephanie would have rather come up with Ryan, but we really needed her at home holding down the fort and we really appreciate it. Thanks so much, Stephanie. We love you and know the pups do too. That is about it for now. Mark is reading to Wo. Gio and I are resting in the recliners. Talk to you later.

Love,
-Pam

PS - I forgot that I updated on Friday afternoon and forgot to mention the very nice gesture from a  fellow anesthesia resident and friend of Kristen named Lisa Vitale. She brought us a tray of subs from Jimmy John's, chips, and turtle brownie cookies that were so delish. She came in Lauren's room with this huge bag and introduced herself. What a beautiful girl with a heart to match. Thank you so much, Lisa!!

Saturday Morning Update - Happy June 1st!

Not much change, but everything is a little better. Lauren is down a little on the vent settings. She is resting comfortably. When Mark and I got here, Kristen and Lauren's nurse, Kim, were cleaning her up. Sis put some lip gloss and eye shadow on Wo to make her look better. She looks really pretty. Bruno and Jacqui are coming to see her today and bringing some of Momma Jolene's fabulous lasagna. We are very excited about that because it is the bomb. She is such a sweet lady and so good to Lauren. I know her heart is hurting. Gio continues to put holy water on Wo and we believe it is working. Lauren's nurse brought some pretty flowers in today for Lauren. Every day Lauren has one nurse that is only for her so she is getting excellent care. They are more like friends to us than nurses. Bruce is off his call and home getting some well deserved sleep. Sis went downstairs to study for a while. She has boards in July. Gio has been staying with Wo so I feel like I am my old self again. It is crazy what lack of sleep will do to a person!! Sis said I would ask her the same question a million times!! Hopefully, today won't be such a cryfest. We were all such a mess yesterday, but today seems a little brighter! I will leave you with a pic of Gio and Mark hanging out at Lauren's bedside. Gio will always be our son. We love him like our own. Talk to you later.

Love,
-Pam